Originally published on Yahoo Voices
The elderly gray haired lady had lost some dexterity in her fingers and used a cane to walk. But she still managed to get around. She lived in a small one floor house about a tenth of a mile outside a small town filled with retirees. She had an old Chevy parked in the driveway. Every evening she would retire to her favorite rocking chair in the living room with some cold wine.
She was sitting in her rocking chair in the living room when she heard a window shatter in the bedroom.
"What the heck -- " she asked herself softly while putting her feet into her new slippers. She rose from the rocking chair, drank the remaining wine and put down her glass. She grabbed her cane.
It wasn't the cost of replacing a window that annoyed her. Her deceased husband had left her in good financial shape. It was the fact that someone had broken one of her windows. There were no children living in the area. Who would commit vandalism? She had no enemies and had been very kind and generous to the people in town.
She walked out of the living room and by the oak chest in the hallway. She peered through the kitchen at the bedroom door. To her surprise, it was shut. The phone was mounted on the wall within her reach. She picked up the receiver and listened. No dial tone. She put down the receiver.
Most people would have ran outside seeking help. But not Ann. Ann was a proud old lady determined to resolve all her problems by herself. This was her property. She was proud of it and would not yield it to anyone. As one would have guessed, she had a gun. It was actually her husband's gun properly registered. She never gave it up.
The problem was that the gun was in the bedroom. That did not deter Ann. When she heard noises coming from the bedroom, she opened her cabinet draw and pulled out a steak knife. Then she slowly approached the bedroom door.
Should she ask who's there? It would seem kind of foolish. She thought about it for a moment. Then she decided that surprise was her best tactic. She quietly approached the bedroom door. Putting her ear to the door, she heard nothing. "Maybe who ever came in left." She thought.
She grabbed the door knob and slowly turned it. After taking a deep breath, she swung the door open. The bed was undisturbed. Her first task every morning was to make up the bed. She peered into the bedroom. The dresser and mirror were also undisturbed. "So what was the noise all about?"
Then she noticed the broken glass on the floor. Pretty curtains covered the window. She got on her hands and knees and peered under the bed. "Need a flashlight." She put the knife on the dresser, opened the draw and took out a battery powered flashlight. She got down on the floor, laid her cane beside her and shined the light under the bed. Shoes were lined up in one neat row.
She slowly got up, leaving the flashlight on the floor and holding her cane in one hand while balancing herself against the bureau. The window. She moved toward the window and pulled the curtain aside. She always loved the view from this window. She often wondered why the builders didn't put the living room here with large sliding glass doors. The view was beautiful. Lots of grass on land that sloped down toward a small fresh water pond.
Suddenly she heard a noise from the bedroom closet. "Of course'" She thought. "Dumb, dumb, dumb. Where's the gun?" She opened the dresser and pulled out the gun. She viewed the cylinder. Empty. The bullets were in the closet. "This prowler is not so dumb." She slowly opened the closet door. All her clothes were on hangers. Again, nothing was disturbed. She looked under the clothes. "No feet down there."
She closed the closet door, ignoring the insect that came crawling out on the floor. She shrugged her shoulders and approached the window. That's when she noticed the tiny round object in the grass. She peered at it but was unable to make out the details.
Having satisfied herself that there was no one in the bedroom, she decided to go outside and examine the round object in the grass. She put on a light sweater and went out the front door. She went round the side of the house. There it was laying in the grass. Shaped like a disk it was hard to spot because it was the same color as the grass. She had never seen anything like it before. She looked around wondering where it came from. She never looked up. Nor did she ever suspect that her prowler was so small. Even after seeing the saucer, she was totally perplexed. Not recognizing it for what it was, but very curious about the beautiful shiny object, she bent down to touch it.
"Ouch!" she said allowed. She looked at her finger and shook it. "Wow! That’s hot."
Hot it was and so would any object be that just came through the earth's atmosphere. She turned and started for the front door when a strange sound behind her made her look back. Insects, just like the one she saw in her bedroom were coming out of the little saucer. One reached her ankle and bit it. "Ouch!" She pushed it off and ran for the front door. After opening the door and entering, she shut the door and raced to close all the windows. The strange insects were climbing up the sides of the house searching for a way in. She could see then crawling on the windows. A few were coming in beneath the front door.
She opened her kitchen cabinet and sprayed one directly with a bug killer. It didn't affect this bug. She grabbed the insect and tried to crush it. It was hard as a rock. She threw it down kitchen sink and ran the water. A few minutes later the bug came up the drain. Another came up her leg and bit her beneath the knee cap. She pulled it off and threw it against the wall. Then she noticed the swollen areas on her leg.
She opened the cabinet door and took out some vinegar. She picked up an insect and put it in the vinegar. The insect crawled out. More and more insects were entering the house. She searched the cabinets for something else that might kill the insects. She pulled out a jar of olive oil and poured some over an insect. The insect stood perfectly still.
"That's it! Oil!" She gathered all types of oil she could find. That's when she found a spray can of lubricant. She started spraying the bugs. Direct hits. As the insects came in she sprayed them one by one. But how could she ever be sure she got them all? An while later, there was no pressure in the spray can. She shook it and tried again. No spray. More insects were entering the house. She took a bottle of olive oil and poured a ring on the floor around herself while she was near the window. The insects could not get near her. She had time to think. She could use the oil to get to where she wants. But what then? The olive oil would run out faster than the spray can. She had to use it sparingly. She also needed something else. She walked to the cabinet pouring a little oil on each insect that approached her. She took out a package sugar frosted cereal and put some on the floor. The insects ignored it.
"They like blood?" She made her way to the refrigerator. She took out a raw chicken and allowed a few drops to hit the floor. The insects went after it. She got a book of matches from a cabinet mounted on the wall. She walked out the door with the chicken and the oil. She placed the chicken in the grass a short distance from the saucer. The insects came from all directions to devour the chicken. She made a ring of oil around the chicken. Then she lit a match. She tried to ignite the oil. She ran to the car, opened the trunk and took out a can of dry gas. She poured a small ring of dry gas around the chicken outside the ring of oil. Then she ignited it. Now she rushed around breaking twigs off low branches of trees and throwing them in the fire. The ring of fire slowly closed in on the insects killing all the insects that had been attracted to the raw meat.
But where there any more? Where were they? She searched around the house looking at the grass and at the house, but spotted no insects. She went inside and grabbed a jar of coffee. She emptied the jar into the garbage pail. She searched every window. Finally she found a live one. She picked it up, put it in the bottle and twisted the cap on but left it a little loose.
The elderly gray haired lady had lost some dexterity in her fingers and used a cane to walk. But she still managed to get around. She lived in a small one floor house about a tenth of a mile outside a small town filled with retirees. She had an old Chevy parked in the driveway. Every evening she would retire to her favorite rocking chair in the living room with some cold wine.
She was sitting in her rocking chair in the living room when she heard a window shatter in the bedroom.
"What the heck -- " she asked herself softly while putting her feet into her new slippers. She rose from the rocking chair, drank the remaining wine and put down her glass. She grabbed her cane.
It wasn't the cost of replacing a window that annoyed her. Her deceased husband had left her in good financial shape. It was the fact that someone had broken one of her windows. There were no children living in the area. Who would commit vandalism? She had no enemies and had been very kind and generous to the people in town.
She walked out of the living room and by the oak chest in the hallway. She peered through the kitchen at the bedroom door. To her surprise, it was shut. The phone was mounted on the wall within her reach. She picked up the receiver and listened. No dial tone. She put down the receiver.
Most people would have ran outside seeking help. But not Ann. Ann was a proud old lady determined to resolve all her problems by herself. This was her property. She was proud of it and would not yield it to anyone. As one would have guessed, she had a gun. It was actually her husband's gun properly registered. She never gave it up.
The problem was that the gun was in the bedroom. That did not deter Ann. When she heard noises coming from the bedroom, she opened her cabinet draw and pulled out a steak knife. Then she slowly approached the bedroom door.
Should she ask who's there? It would seem kind of foolish. She thought about it for a moment. Then she decided that surprise was her best tactic. She quietly approached the bedroom door. Putting her ear to the door, she heard nothing. "Maybe who ever came in left." She thought.
She grabbed the door knob and slowly turned it. After taking a deep breath, she swung the door open. The bed was undisturbed. Her first task every morning was to make up the bed. She peered into the bedroom. The dresser and mirror were also undisturbed. "So what was the noise all about?"
Then she noticed the broken glass on the floor. Pretty curtains covered the window. She got on her hands and knees and peered under the bed. "Need a flashlight." She put the knife on the dresser, opened the draw and took out a battery powered flashlight. She got down on the floor, laid her cane beside her and shined the light under the bed. Shoes were lined up in one neat row.
She slowly got up, leaving the flashlight on the floor and holding her cane in one hand while balancing herself against the bureau. The window. She moved toward the window and pulled the curtain aside. She always loved the view from this window. She often wondered why the builders didn't put the living room here with large sliding glass doors. The view was beautiful. Lots of grass on land that sloped down toward a small fresh water pond.
Suddenly she heard a noise from the bedroom closet. "Of course'" She thought. "Dumb, dumb, dumb. Where's the gun?" She opened the dresser and pulled out the gun. She viewed the cylinder. Empty. The bullets were in the closet. "This prowler is not so dumb." She slowly opened the closet door. All her clothes were on hangers. Again, nothing was disturbed. She looked under the clothes. "No feet down there."
She closed the closet door, ignoring the insect that came crawling out on the floor. She shrugged her shoulders and approached the window. That's when she noticed the tiny round object in the grass. She peered at it but was unable to make out the details.
Having satisfied herself that there was no one in the bedroom, she decided to go outside and examine the round object in the grass. She put on a light sweater and went out the front door. She went round the side of the house. There it was laying in the grass. Shaped like a disk it was hard to spot because it was the same color as the grass. She had never seen anything like it before. She looked around wondering where it came from. She never looked up. Nor did she ever suspect that her prowler was so small. Even after seeing the saucer, she was totally perplexed. Not recognizing it for what it was, but very curious about the beautiful shiny object, she bent down to touch it.
"Ouch!" she said allowed. She looked at her finger and shook it. "Wow! That’s hot."
Hot it was and so would any object be that just came through the earth's atmosphere. She turned and started for the front door when a strange sound behind her made her look back. Insects, just like the one she saw in her bedroom were coming out of the little saucer. One reached her ankle and bit it. "Ouch!" She pushed it off and ran for the front door. After opening the door and entering, she shut the door and raced to close all the windows. The strange insects were climbing up the sides of the house searching for a way in. She could see then crawling on the windows. A few were coming in beneath the front door.
She opened her kitchen cabinet and sprayed one directly with a bug killer. It didn't affect this bug. She grabbed the insect and tried to crush it. It was hard as a rock. She threw it down kitchen sink and ran the water. A few minutes later the bug came up the drain. Another came up her leg and bit her beneath the knee cap. She pulled it off and threw it against the wall. Then she noticed the swollen areas on her leg.
She opened the cabinet door and took out some vinegar. She picked up an insect and put it in the vinegar. The insect crawled out. More and more insects were entering the house. She searched the cabinets for something else that might kill the insects. She pulled out a jar of olive oil and poured some over an insect. The insect stood perfectly still.
"That's it! Oil!" She gathered all types of oil she could find. That's when she found a spray can of lubricant. She started spraying the bugs. Direct hits. As the insects came in she sprayed them one by one. But how could she ever be sure she got them all? An while later, there was no pressure in the spray can. She shook it and tried again. No spray. More insects were entering the house. She took a bottle of olive oil and poured a ring on the floor around herself while she was near the window. The insects could not get near her. She had time to think. She could use the oil to get to where she wants. But what then? The olive oil would run out faster than the spray can. She had to use it sparingly. She also needed something else. She walked to the cabinet pouring a little oil on each insect that approached her. She took out a package sugar frosted cereal and put some on the floor. The insects ignored it.
"They like blood?" She made her way to the refrigerator. She took out a raw chicken and allowed a few drops to hit the floor. The insects went after it. She got a book of matches from a cabinet mounted on the wall. She walked out the door with the chicken and the oil. She placed the chicken in the grass a short distance from the saucer. The insects came from all directions to devour the chicken. She made a ring of oil around the chicken. Then she lit a match. She tried to ignite the oil. She ran to the car, opened the trunk and took out a can of dry gas. She poured a small ring of dry gas around the chicken outside the ring of oil. Then she ignited it. Now she rushed around breaking twigs off low branches of trees and throwing them in the fire. The ring of fire slowly closed in on the insects killing all the insects that had been attracted to the raw meat.
But where there any more? Where were they? She searched around the house looking at the grass and at the house, but spotted no insects. She went inside and grabbed a jar of coffee. She emptied the jar into the garbage pail. She searched every window. Finally she found a live one. She picked it up, put it in the bottle and twisted the cap on but left it a little loose.
She got in the car and started the engine. As she drove down the road she asked, "Do you lay eggs?"
Of course, the trapped insect did not respond.
She stopped at a gas station and purchased a few cans of motor oil. She turned on the car radio as she drove away. She heard reports of these insects in other areas.
"They have a problem." She said. "I have the solution."
No comments:
Post a Comment